Alleys and coat hangers

So Canada's most famous abortionist died today.  Like most decent people, I thought, "Rest in hell, you dickhead."  However, in truth, it presents a teachable moment.  We are never condemned for our vile actions, but rather for our refusal to accept having Someone else pay the price for them.  For all I know, that old serial baby killer was in great standing with the Almighty, despite turning an untold number of people into medical waste.  He may well have been saved in spades, and was simply deceived, or inconsistent, or dumb.  Maybe Obama is as well.  Maybe the sun will be blue tomorrow.  Where is a good zombie attack when you need one?

Open Letter to a Fetus

Dear Unborn Person,

You may think things are going quite well.  First of all, you now exist, as proven by the Descartian act of thinking.  Up to this point, your experience of life consists of loitering, comfortably wet and naked, and meeting the low expectations put upon you.  In that respect, your life is the French ideal.  However, umbilical cords are like anything else- they only let you go so far.  The time will come for you to be cut free and start paying taxes to support the French population.  Unless...
In these modern days, you are in a dangerous place.  I won't bore you with statistics or my thoughts on the erratic changeability of a woman's mood, but many others in your position continue to meet gruesome fates.  There is nothing you can do to avoid a close encounter with a coat hanger, nor can your father legally keep you from becoming medical waste if your mother thinks it would be a nifty solution to a nine month abdomen crisis.  At best, your life requires some changes to your mother's.  It is hard enough to walk in high heels without a womb worm throwing off the delicate balance between style and agony.  We need not discuss the mutual exclusivity of pregnancy and miniskirts except to say engineering and fashion have their limits.  My point, little parasite, is that some ladies highly value Saturday nights at the club.  To some, swelling up and puking all the time do not compare favourably.
I don't know what advice to give you.  If you hold still and try not to be an imposition, your host may not think of you as a person and will be more likely to flush you out of her.  If you move around a lot and cause a real fuss, you may cause her to ponder what the next twenty years will be like and increase the chances of you getting poked with a sharp medical device by someone who didn't have the intellect to become a real doctor.  The best you can do is use the Roller Coaster Technique- close your eyes and hang on tight.  Should you survive the Passchendaele that is childhood, you will find it is also an excellent method to get through high school, marriage, and trips to the dentist.
Good luck, kid.  The rest is poop.

The Dying Church

I walked by one of those liberal semi-churches today.  A silly place for silly people who use the word "progressive" without a thought of what they are progressing to or from.  Instead of Christianity being an end in and of itself, they consider it a means to a worldly end.  Instead of working out their salvation with fear and trembling, they work for their own happiness, again without ever considering the meaning of the term.  They like the feeling of Christianity, or at least the feeling of a nice work.  Harmless enough, I suppose, but there is no point in feeding the poor without feeding the sheep, and the Bible gives some tough meat tho chew on.  The left measures their success by how good they feel.  Proper Christianity is measured by how much of your old nature is killed off.  That means you might feel bad.  It certainly means doing things you don't want.  Christianity, the real kind, is more than difficult.  It is impossible.  The Laodicean church is not into the impossible.  They're into the tepid and murky.

Die, Be Dead and Be Dug

         I have chest pains quite a bit.  Since I have to rely on socialized health care, I have been doing my civic duty and ignoring a potentially expensive issue.  I woke up this morning, so I assume this is a good course of action.
Any serious Christian would not be too worried about dying.  Take your vitamins, don't fly on planes (make sure you get a seat inside it!), and count your blessings before the taxmen come like a zombie hoard.  I hope that when I'm about to become corpsified, I have enough time for some last words.  I want to stare mortality in the eye and say, "Meh."  I just don't want to die in the bathroom.  There is no way to die with nobility with a mouthful of toothpaste.  Or if you're pooping.

Hurray! Inauguration Day!

So Barry was inaugurated again today.  I couldn't bring myself to watch.  Did he sing prettily?  Did he appeal to your emotion, be it either triumph and envy and fear, or guilt and resignation?  Did he spin logical fallacies that the publicly educated accepted as self-evident truths and applauded as only the indoctrinated can?  Did he give false choices rather than proper consideration of opposing views?  Will Granny be out on the street if Congress doesn't borrow and spend into the abyss?
As of today, polls say he has an approval rating of 47%.  Barry is not the cause of America's problems.  The people are.  He is rather the most visible symptom.  At no other time in American history could someone of such modest ability have reached this office, either by fair means or foul.  To that point, I nonetheless believe he has been chosen for this singular time in history.  The word ìtribulationî is thrown around too much, so let's call Barry's second term ìfour years of farts.î  I think that is the most fitting description of this man's quality.

I have watched TED.com for some time now, and I think it is a fantastic organization for what it is. Unabashedly left-wing, it still manages to put out great ideas and discussions. Unlike Al Gore, who is worshipped by these same types and can't bear to have their ides questioned in real life. That's what makes this video a real treat-

http://www.ted.com/talks/alexander_tsiaras_conception_to_birth_visualized.html

I have nothing to add.

I just watched Lars von Trier's "Antichrist."

I... I don't know what I just saw. Um... wow. A clitoris comes off really easily. Like a little salmander. I think we should legalize drugs that help take the pain of movies away.